This is a great article. It speaks to opening up one’s self in a deep way..exactly what happens with sharing or exploring a kink or fetish. This vulnerability can become a 3 headed monster that can raise it’s head to create fears in both people…to experience someone else’s inner deepness can be awesome or overwhelming. Stuffing these feelings for the fetish/kink person only comes back stronger over time causing the fetish person to dread/love the re emergence of this intensity..only to slide back into fear when a certain “break point” is reached. This binge/purging of the kink/fetish becomes the cycle over the years, with the stress of life being a catalyst. To fully give over to life, love, trust & intimacy becomes a very scary navigation of a relationship with others. Ms~S~
Why does love bring up fear? ~~ By Kea Bankes
When we fall in love we naturally expose our inner most selves. We are so overwhelmed with love that we have no choice but to bare it all. To be fully naked before the one we love. At that time we are more closely aligned to our truest selves. Most alive and radiant. But after a short time we begin to notice our nakedness. We begin to worry that we will get hurt.
We feel raw and exposed. We think maybe the person we love will use this against us and attack when we are most vulnerable. For this has likely always happened at some point in past relationships. Usually always at this point fear comes up in a relationship. Fear of being hurt, rejected, or not truly loved. We then put our walls back up and lose that innocent pure connection with our partner.
This too is what we are experiencing on a mass scale. We are falling in love with life again. We are learning to trust again. But we are feeling very raw and exposed in our hearts. We naturally want to cover up as we had in the past. To protect ourselves. Now is the test in relationships and all forms of love, outer and inner, if we can let go of this fear once and for all. This fear of being hurt, unloved, rejected.
We are learning to trust again, with our hearts open and exposed. It’s scary. It hurts. But we can do this for love, for our dreams, for our future. Our evolution depends on it. Our lives depend on it. This is what it means to be a child again. To live from the heart and to trust.
So be gentle with your partner. Be gentle with yourself. Be patient and kind toward what fears might arise. Thank you for being brave enough to do this.
Kea Bankes
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